Gather Strength rather than Envy

One of my main struggles in life is envy. It falls in hand with my other struggles: worry, low self worth. I see people around me doing good. Mary Anne is joining rallies and photo-journaling the injustice towards the homeless in portland. My cousin is touring the mountains on her bike, making many friends and writing poetry. I long to seem as successful. I wonder what it is that they have that I just don't. I envy them, wishing i was in the spotlight of such wonderous adventure. The reality is that I am not them, and I should not hold myself to the standards expectations or even dreams of another person. No matter how much I idolize them. 

         Envy is natural, and naturaly it can be overcome. I choose now to take strength from these people who seem to glow with happiness and success. I will admire my cousin's verses and write things I know myself. We used to write together, and often I feel lost without her. Words linger at my tongue and pen, held back by the childish fear: no one will like it, no one will appreciate what my heart has to say. Except maybe one, such as me appreciating my cousin's work, she has no book no fame, only a dazzled few and herself to drink in the pages and sigh with artistic relief. 

       I have been to rallies and protests and i have waved a banner and I have stepped down. Seeing people do good does not mean you must follow them to gain their strength. Simply do. They are doing what they are passionate about. My envy stems from my lack of self worth, telling myself my efforts are useless, I do not start for fear of never finishing. Simply do whatever your heart desires and you will suddenly burn with the flame that draws you to those people. It becomes clear I do not envy their occupations but their willingness and drive to do what pleases them. 

        Gain strength from those you see with bright faces and futures. See them gleam with the success of having taken part in their dreams, and take part in your own.