Anti-Bullying Programs are Not Enough

I am one of the many concerned about the rise in school shootings and teen suicide, but I can't help feeling like the anti bullying tactics, while well meant, are not addressing the whole problem and thus making it worse.

      This is an entitled generation. I don't mean just kids or just teens or just young adults, this whole country is entitled as hell. We all want to blame someone else for our problems. When a teen commits suicide after being bullied the bully is blamed, the bully's parents, the victim's parents, maybe even the community or the crime rate or even drugs are to blame. It seems unrealistic and a very entitled point of view to say that anyone else is responsible for a teen taking their own life. 

       We are all free to have our own emotions and we are all free to make our own choices. I believe in consequences. We need to teach our peers and the children of our communities not just to be in control of their actions and not terrorize other people, but to be in control of their emotions and not allow others to dampen our spirits. If you are bullied at school there are teachers and other students to talk to about it. If you are bullied on facebook, stop logging in. If your choices bring you face to face with this person who taunts you then think of alternate routes. If the negativity is not avoidable then change the way you handle it. Someone only continues pestering because they get a reaction and they get away with it. Stop giving them the satisfaction of seeing you post about how bad your day was. Stop crying and getting mad because thats what they want. 

       I learned a wonderful tool in highschool. We are 70% water. I am a body of water, I choose to remain clear, letting clean water flow through me to wash away murk and fallen leaves. A rock thrown into a pool causes ripples that stretch thin and dissapear, they do not leave a mark. We have to learn not to accept negativity. It is your decision to be happy or sad, no one can decide for you. If i feel under stress simply imagine my body as a clear pool, allowing negativity to pass. 

       I am sad for the lives that are lost, and I agree we should do all we can to let people know their choices. We should do our best to treat eachother kindly and reach out to those who are not. If you take your own life it is no one's fault but your own and instead of punishing your enemy you are hurting everyone else. Killing yourself may be a month of fame but choosing to be a happy person can last a lifetime. 

       This is not my most positive post, but i believe in the simplicity of self governing. If i do not voice my opinion of the world I cannot expect it to change. People would like you to believe your voice or opinion only matters as a checkmark on a ballet but it is much more effective to talk to the people in your community about things you each feel are important, this is the self sufficent way of changing your environment. You can do better than voting, act on your beliefs. 

Gather Strength rather than Envy

One of my main struggles in life is envy. It falls in hand with my other struggles: worry, low self worth. I see people around me doing good. Mary Anne is joining rallies and photo-journaling the injustice towards the homeless in portland. My cousin is touring the mountains on her bike, making many friends and writing poetry. I long to seem as successful. I wonder what it is that they have that I just don't. I envy them, wishing i was in the spotlight of such wonderous adventure. The reality is that I am not them, and I should not hold myself to the standards expectations or even dreams of another person. No matter how much I idolize them. 

         Envy is natural, and naturaly it can be overcome. I choose now to take strength from these people who seem to glow with happiness and success. I will admire my cousin's verses and write things I know myself. We used to write together, and often I feel lost without her. Words linger at my tongue and pen, held back by the childish fear: no one will like it, no one will appreciate what my heart has to say. Except maybe one, such as me appreciating my cousin's work, she has no book no fame, only a dazzled few and herself to drink in the pages and sigh with artistic relief. 

       I have been to rallies and protests and i have waved a banner and I have stepped down. Seeing people do good does not mean you must follow them to gain their strength. Simply do. They are doing what they are passionate about. My envy stems from my lack of self worth, telling myself my efforts are useless, I do not start for fear of never finishing. Simply do whatever your heart desires and you will suddenly burn with the flame that draws you to those people. It becomes clear I do not envy their occupations but their willingness and drive to do what pleases them. 

        Gain strength from those you see with bright faces and futures. See them gleam with the success of having taken part in their dreams, and take part in your own.